Earlier this year, I was inspired when Nicole decided to quit drinking for five weeks for a number of reasons, one of which was to see how that decision affected her ability to get a decent night’s sleep. Then, in August, Jenny and I (and some other fabulous women) did various levels of a cleanse: for some, it was 21 days of no carb, no sugar, no booze. For others (myself), it was seven days of no booze, no carbs, no pork/beef, and easy on the sugar. Conversations with both of these crazy amazing women have stuck with me, and I finally see what Nicole meant when she said,
“You won’t decide to quit drinking, for example, or to change any habit, until there’s a reason for YOU to do it. Not my reason, not someone else’s reason, but yours. Until it’s important to YOU, it won’t matter. It’s that simple. It just won’t change.”
Casual drinking (happy hours, a glass of wine at the end of the day) has just become a part of my routine. When I got sick last month (sinus infection, upper respiratory something-or-other) and it was significantly affecting my quality of sleep, I decided to skip out on any and all booze for a few days so as to sleep with a clear mind/body.
It worked. I slept like a baby, Chris finally slept well (because I was finally sleeping well), and I realized that even a single glass of wine in the evenings can affect my sleep quality, my mental alertness, and how I choose to spend my time.
Cold turkey doesn’t work for me. Neither do arbitrary timelines or goals. Maybe I’m afraid of failure; I don’t know. I just know that’s not how I do things.
I’m not about to take a 21-day or 5-week hiatus, but I have re-evaluated what I want my weeknights (and subsequently a large portion of my waking life) to look like in 2012.
I’ve been saying for a long time that I want to pick up more hobbies: sewing, knitting, pole-dancing classes (I hear it’s a killer workout! Cross-training!), web design classes, etc., and I often lament my “lack of time or money” to do more yoga or to take cooking classes. The truth is, I have the time and the money, but I’ve chosen to spend it elsewhere: on happy hours, cheap wine, and being lazy.
I’m too old to still be drinking cheap wine. Unless it’s good. Then it’s ok that it’s cheap. But I’m too old to not be drinking wine that legitimately tastes good.
So, my Numero Uno personal goal (business goals will be addressed separately) is to replace the bulk of weeknight happy hours and/or other social drinking activities with hobbies, classes, and relationship-building that’s based on learning and shared experiences.
Sure, there will be exceptions to this here and there, but generally I’d like to reallocate my budget of both time and money to activities that are going to keep me healthier, involve learning something (because when I get bored, I get cranky), make me a generally more interesting person, and provide a more opportunities to spend time with other people with shared interests.
I pitched this idea to some girlfriends here in Portland, and I’m stoked that it was met with such enthusiasm. I have running partners, pole class partners, sewing class referrals, and girlfriends interested in a knitting circle.
Here’s to a RICH new year filled with new interests, deeper relationships, and creative experiences.
What’s your #1 goal for 2012?
Coffee, black. Wine, red. Bourbon, neat. Let's hang out.
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I gave up drinking 8 days ago on the advice of my counselor. I admire people who can cut back and still enjoy the occasional bevvy, but it would seem that I can’t handle drinking a little without it turning into a lot. But hey, that’s life!
My biggest goal for 2012 is to stay sober and quit smoking. It’s going to be a good year.
Congratulations on the quitting! You’re in for a hugely healthy 2012 with those goals
This totally describes me. When life got a little nuts with work, school, and internship, something had to give. Thankfully, it was the Friday and Saturday nights I spent drinking myself into oblivion. When I look back now, I have no clue how I did that EVERY weekend! Granted, I needed fun like that, but I feel much better and balanced not doing it every weekend. Every so often is okay, but at the rate I was going, I can’t believe I didn’t really hurt myself. It’s all about balance…and focusing on hobbies that make you feel healthier. I’m proud of you for finding a good balance for yourself!
It IS about balance. And speaking of being “too old” for some things, I’m so over Saturday and Sunday morning hangovers. My weekends are becoming precious, especially now that I’m not traveling every weekend (for now) or working every weekend (for now) and nothing makes me crazier than waking up hurting those mornings because I went a little nuts on Friday/Saturday night. Priorities!
I’m behind you all the way. You are awesome.
This is great! My biggest goal for 2012 is to take my health seriously. I’ve been half-assing all my attempts to lose weight for the past few years and it shows.
Funnily enough, I’ve taken steps now to get to that place which makes me seem that this is more possible than it has been in the past. We totally got this. Bring it on, 2012!
I think there’s truth in this for a lot of us – we have the time and money (or whatever) for the things we want to do, but a lot of the time we choose to spend it elsewhere. I know it’s true for me in a lot of cases. (Especially on the “being lazy” part.) Your goal for 2012 is great, this post is great, YOU’RE great.
Doni,
Love your writing and how you systematically make changes for good in your life! That’s one of the reasons I nominated your blog for the Versatile Bloggers award. Last week my blog was nominated by http://culturalcomments.blogspot.com/2011/12/versatile-blogger-award.html, in Cinque Terre, Italy. You can see your nomination with the rules at my Italy Retreat blog: http://italyretreat.blogspot.com/2011/12/versatile-blogger-award.html
Thanks for inspiring us!
I did a yoga class the other day, and I had 4 words come into my mind over and over; Calm, Open-hearted, Confident, and Abundance. I kept saying it over and over and liked how it sounded. I even liked how it was 4 things, making it a complete square. I don’t know, maybe that part is weird. lol! Anyway, it seemed to bring up the areas that I most wanted to focus on. Being calm. Being open-hearted (not cynical, jaded, or jealous of what others have that I might not have), Confident (something I’ve needed to work on for a long time-to really believe in myself), and Abundance (knowing that I will be taken care of, and that I ask for what I want).
This idea that you can’t quit anything until YOU really want it is so true. I learned it when I quit smoking a few years ago. I kept saying I wanted to quit, that I would do it eventually, but I wasn’t ready and I didn’t really want it until one day, I woke up and was done. There really is a season for everything.
I just posted my 2012 goals, but if I were to pick ONE? The finances. ‘Cause if I don’t straighten those out, all my other dreams will forever stay in dream land, and that’s just not okay!
Lovely post, good food for thought
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