I know, right?
Shit’s been… all over the place lately.
I started getting sick (yay, sinus infection!) the week before Thanksgiving, and right about last weekend, I started feeling better. Then I ran a 5k in 35 degree weather (don’t worry, Mom! I wore layers!), and woke up Sunday feeling less-than-stellar again.
Except… this time around, this sickness looks something more along the lines of I-feel-like-Bella-on-her-honeymoon (because I feel all achy and bruise-y, not because I’ve been knocked up by a vampire), and wait, there’s such a thing as upper-respiratory-infection-induced-sleep-apnea? AWESOME. Chris just loves hearing me jolt myself awake by loud snorts. (I know about the UPI-induced sleep apnea because I looked it up on WebMD after I startled Chris for two nights in a row by snorting myself awake. Super-hot self-diagnosis, FTW!)
ANYWAY, if you’re still reading, I thank you.
Beyond battling my own body, my soul and self have been through the ringer lately as well. Work has been steady and manageable. In fact, I’m allllmost starting to feel caught up. On the one hand, YAY! Time to work on my side projects! On the other hand, PANIC! As a freelancer, I depend on starting (new money!) and finishing projects (invoicing the money!) so there was a little bit of a financial panic in there.
(Personal note-to-self for 2012: Stop depending on new projects. Add something to the mix that generates more stable income.)
And then — I don’t know if it was because I was tired or because I was sick, or if it’s this time of year or what — but then, I got BORED. SAD. With EVERYTHING. Which really, really sucked. So, then I got frustrated.
I know a lot of people go through things like this (as Nicole so perfectly described it, we fall in a hole) this time of year, and throughout the year. It’s seasonal, it’s colder, it’s the fact that it seems like everyone is doing some version of end-of-the-year reflection and the new year goal-setting (I am too). The sun’s out less in Portland. Vitamin D comes in supplement form, rather than directly from the sky to my face.
A couple of days ago, I sort of snapped out of it. I found a new hobby. Kind of. I found a website called Codecademy, which, is a very, very basic “learn computer programming!” kind of website (it IS Computer Science Education Week, after all…), and I started playing around with the first few Javascript lessons. Turns out, I loved it.
My brain snapped back to attention. I was solving problems. I was learning something. I got it, and I was energized. And you earn badges like with Foursquare and Influenster, so that’s pretty cool. (For the record, I have no relationship with Codecademy. I just really enjoyed the hour or so I spent playing on the site.)
So, I just might stick with that whole learn Javascript thing, even before I’m even totally sure what all that even means. Even before I learn other languages I’ve been planning to. Even before… whatever else. It just felt good to learn something, when my brain felt less-than-stimulated by the drivel other input I had been feeding it.
So, this has basically been my existence lately. I’ve been tired and sick, and likely because of that one-two punch, fell into this sad state of disinterest with the things going on around me. And then I started learning javascript. I’m guessing it could’ve been crochet, model airplane-building, macaron-making, or salsa-dancing. Something new and interesting that requires I create new connections in my brain.
This weekend, I’m taking some me-time. Some get-out-of-the-house, go-out-by-myself, journal-and-tea, me-time. And I’m stoked. I LIKE hanging out with myself. And I think it’s exactly what I need to get myself back to 100%.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve been doing Code Academy for a couple of weeks now and it’s SO MUCH FUN.
But to the point, I think you’re doing fine. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break when we fall into the boredsadunhappy phase. I’ve found that when I fall into that phase and try fight it, it gets worse. That’s when I get frustrated and deeper into the hole. So lately, I’ve just been trying to accept that sometimes I’m going to be bored and that’ll lead to the blues. When I feel that way, I let it in, indulge myself in a few days of moping and then, like you, I’ll find something new to do. Or find something old and make it new again.
I hope you feel back to your 100% again soon!
Ooh! Study buddies!
And I really like your advice — just yourself get in it, roll around in it, and then get out of it. Thanks!
A sinus infection should not last 3 weeks. Go to doctor/minute clinic/doc in a box and get anti-biotics. And feel better faster. I’m just saying………..;-)
Mom, the sinus infection only lasted a week and a half or so. This last week I’ve just been tired and achy. I’m ok!
Ugh…I hope you feel better soon! And I LOVE me-time. Last weekend, I needed “homebase time.” I left Chef Boy and went to my parent’s house for the night. It was amazing how much better I felt when I came home. Sometimes it’s imperative to do what you need to do for self-care. I hope you have a fabulous me-time weekend!
Oh, I would LOVE to be able to go spend a night at my folks’ place. I used to do that a couple times/month when I lived in the same state. That’s an awesome reset!
We never really got around to this part the other night but I’m glad you’re excited about something again… Changing things up now and then is a good reset on things. Love you!
You’re right — I derailed that whole conversation with a new one altogether
Thank you for being such a good friend, xoxo.
ooh i’m going to be doing codeacademy now! very cool.
I just got that nasty cold that is going around and dropping people like flies. And I TOO am waking up because of my snorts. I think it’s time to pull out the humidifier.
P.S. Thank you for the link to the website. I haven’t done code in a looongtime and I’m trying to cram more things in to my freelancing as a document editor…. I want to do websites again!
It is extremely interesting watching how we go up then down. It will always be, just each time feels different because we are different.
Being sick, is no exception. I’m such a baby when I’m sick. I’m such a doer that I panic that I can’t do anything and that I feel lackluster. I’ve noted to drink less especially during the week, take my vitamins everyday and lots of hot yoga. It keeps me rolling where before by this time last year I had already been sick a few times. It’s so damn hard but I love how you bounced back, shared in honesty and also started something TOTALLY new.
That is what keeps life exciting and good for you. I love that feeling of invigoration. You go girl. Lots of love to you. PS. I spent today by myself, doing what I wanted, needed, and accomplished some great to-do’s
Felt lovely.
Aside from not being sick, I’ve been going through so many transitional things as well. I’m really trying embrace change but it’s hard! And as a freelancer, I totally know what you are talking about with projects and money. I need to do the same thing.