“Why is it,” I asked, “that I’m choosing to hold on to this unrest, this… resentment? It’s not like it’s comfortable.
…And why, when I know the freedom that comes with svaha, with letting go, with offering it up… when I understand how this universe works, how the world is within reach in front of me, and I can see this freedom at my fingertips, why do I choose to stay curled under this seemingly-protective-but-really-restrictive blanket of weight and resentment?”
“Because,” she said, “because it means you still get to keep a part of it with you. By holding onto things like grudges, pain, and discomfort, we retain some control over the situation. Through compassion and forgiveness, we let go of that control and open ourselves up to the universe. It’s simultaneously freeing and terrifying at the same time.”
What does it mean to live with an open heart?
It means eagerly anticipating half-pigeon because you know you have to pick up the pieces that broke last time you were there. It means being aware that this second-chakra-opening posture is vulnerable, that we store so many feelings, memories, and emotions in our hips. And not just any emotions. We store creativity, sexuality, and individuality here, and postures that open those intimate places in our lives leave us vulnerable, but also leave us open for joy and freedom.
It means remembering this breakdown that happened last time you were here. The complete falling apart, the losing it. The instinct to retract, to close up. To feel violated and instantly want to shield every single exposed feeling from the pain that’s out there.
It means breaking through that. It means letting go of the bars around our hearts and the fences in front of our lives and moving through the walls we break down to truly open ourselves to the beauty the world offers right past our fingertips.
What does it mean to live with an open heart?
It means finding peace in half-pigeon. No bells and whistles in the instant that peace happened, just… om shanti* with every breath. Tapping into the energy surrounding me, allowing that fullness to bring peace. It means finding rest in this energetic posture, surrendering into areas of tension, breathing through discomfort and into release.
It means no epiphany where you expect one, no light bulb moment, no flashing lights. Just peace. Just presence. Absolute presence.
What does it mean to live with an open heart?
It means anticipating full wheel. I just felt it. I knew it would be next. There are a number of heart openers we can do at this point in the sequence, but I knew it would be full wheel, and I also knew it would be effortless. And it certainly isn’t always. In fact, it isn’t often.
And when the teacher asked, “What does it mean to live with an open heart?” as we prepared for bridge pose, it means absorbing that.
It means lying on your back, moving straight through bridge pose and into a smooth expression of full wheel. It means closing your eyes and feeling the presence of the instructor approaching you as though he knew you needed to move further, deeper into the posture. It means full surrender when your back arches further, when a hand is placed lightly on your sternum, your heart, as another lifts up from behind it, supporting you.
It means remembering that the universe and the presence of the people in our lives at this exact time DO support you. That everything is unfolding exactly as it should, when it should, and that the process of getting there is part of this human experience.
It means fighting back tears because in this moment you chose to live with an open heart. You saw the doors open, the chains fall, the clouds scatter.
It means coming out of the posture and letting go. Letting go, letting the tears come, and finding that same peace, that same surrender in the openness you allowed in your most creative, most intimate, and most compassionate spaces.
It means starting by letting go of the things that bind me and opening up to the beauty and opportunity that the world – the one immediately in front of me – has to offer.
What does it mean – to you – to live with an open heart?
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I have never been able to hold a bridge pose. Some of it is that my chest is not open enough yet. Part of is it that my hips are incredibly weak. My heart opener is camel.
Thank you for yet again bringing the lessons we learn on the mat to life off the mat. Thank you for sharing these parts of yourself so we can learn more about ourselves.
To me, living with an open heart is exactly how you described it – opening myself to the world, to the people in my life, to the pain and joy that life brings. An open heart is a fearless heart. I lived in such fear for so long. I couldn’t imagine feeling the pain I felt from a broken heart five years ago. I let go of that fear and experienced love and loss multiple times since, but with the knowledge that my heart was free to experience all things. The freedom of pure love, in all our relationships and actions in the world, is always more powerful than the pain of our heart breaking.
We often only find out our heart was open when it is broken. We feel physical pain in our chest from the pain of a loss of someone or something important to us. I hope that I continue to recognize that my heart is open in the moment instead of only realizing my heart was free until later on in the future when it hurts.
Also… sorry this is so long! Your posts make me all gushy and wordy.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..pixie658: Photo: “I loveded you Piggy. I loveded you!” – GIR (I miss Invader Zim so much!) http://tumblr.com/xkz8ay8v7 =-.
I will never believe that anything other than the following sentence is what living with an open heart is for me: taking responsibility for that which matters most. Work, school, family, love, music, sports, whatever it may be. An open heart is one that accepts the challenges and obstacles of today and turns them into successes and opportunities tomorrow.
(And if I ever say anything even half that inspirational again, I will be proud and a little shocked.)
.-= Simon´s last blog ..Things Are Changing =-.
I so needed to read this tonight. What a great post, I love how you take what you get out of yoga and turn them into real life, inspirational pieces that are relavent to everyone, no matter if they do yoga or not
For me, living with an open heart is sometimes very hard. I close myself off to friends, lovers, etc, only letting them in once they can get past the walls. Since moving here I have been trying to live more openly, to hold my arms open and accept anyone and anything into my heart. It’s proving difficult as old habits do die hard but I am determined, day by day, to open it up more. I think I really need to start doing yoga with you
See you in a couple days roommie!
I think finding anything you’re passionate about – yoga, photography, art, writing, sports, whatever – and then RUNNING with it allows you to open up and live like that. You have such beautiful talents, I can’t wait to see where they take you! Enjoy the rest of your peace and open spaces this week – see you tomorrow
This helped me so much to read. I am starting yoga today!!!!
.-= Juliana´s last blog ..Everything is going to be alright =-.
I think I may hit up a place in Denver on Friday – you should join!
You make me want to take Yoga religiously.
To me, living with an open heart means allowing myself to be who I am in the moment without fear of repercussion. To say what I feel, to do what makes me happy, without worrying about what others think. To feel things instead of boxing them up and throwing away the key. To feel pain and fear and loss, but also light and happiness and joy. To be fearless of my own fear.
.-= StaceyParadise´s last blog ..The online-self versus the offline-self =-.
I think I still struggle with wanting to live with an open heart vs actual living with an open heart. Actually doing it makes me vulnerable, sometimes more vulnerable than I’d like to be. It means throwing things out there and never quite knowing what you’ll get in return, but doing it anyway because it *feels* right. It means ignoring the head and listening to the heart. It means letting go of fear, of tradition, of what’s fair, what’s right vs wrong. It means challenging yourself to really live, really feel. It means it’s tough… but so worth it in the end
.-= Nora´s last blog ..The (Three Day) Weekend =-.
I’ve been trying to live more open recently and while its so hard, its got the promise of being rewarded. I’m learning to indulge in things that I want, without wondering what others would think. It’s about spending my last penny on something that I really really want, and would make me feel good. It’s about taking the next few weeks before payday to save money to make up for the expensive purchase. It’s about being open to failing a few times before you succeed. It’s about enjoying the falls and getting thicker skin.
It’s about the people that we meet in our lives that are inspirational if even for a moment – those are people we carry with us forever. You’re one of those people for me.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..How Moving Out Helped Me Move On =-.
This is beautiful. It isn’t easy to live with an open heart…especially when that heart has been broken or misused in the past (which is essentially, everyone at some point).
I wrote a post on forgiveness a while back – mostly because I kept finding that I was holding onto resentment by not forgiving people in my life. And you know what – resenting a person or certain situation does nothing to the person being resented but always damages the person doing the resenting. Ouch, that’s us.
You can see the rest here (http://smallhandsbigideas.com/change/im-still-learning-to-forgive/)
Finally, I think living with an open heart means that you let the stress come and go, but you don’t grip it with all your might to keep it nearby. You let it float on, like a wave, it comes and goes and you have to ride it. I also think having an open heart means you practice what you preach, so you give back, you listen and you love not only yourself, but others.
Finally, (long winded comment, wheew) I found this quote and put it in my post, thought you might like it:
Catherine Ponder says that “when you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
.-= Grace´s last blog ..You’re Not Really “Fine” =-.
I think you need to write a book, that is pocket size so I can carry it and read it when ever I need a boost of inspiration.
So true, so true, so true. For me, living with an open heart means not to judge others. It sounds so simple, yet it can be so hard especially up close. It’s definitely the constant thing I try to keep aware of in life.
Good work with bridge. That’s one of my favorites. It does feel so freeing, doesn’t it?
.-= molly´s last blog ..i’m alive. =-.
Bridge, full wheel, I think you know what I meant
.-= molly´s last blog ..i’m alive. =-.
I hope you do realize that you’re amazing. Amazingly amazing.
I think that living with an open heart is so difficult for most of us because it leaves us open and out there, vulnerable and susceptible to so much.
Living with an open heart, to me, means letting yourself feel what is out there, and leaving yourself open to hurt, fear and failure. Because if you leave yourself open and available for those things, you’ve also left a huge amount of space for love and friendship and happiness as well.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..I wish every day could be like today. =-.
I really, really miss you. And thanks. And I think this is what nails it, what I was drilling down to:
“Because if you leave yourself open and available for those things, you’ve also left a huge amount of space for love and friendship and happiness as well.”
Because BY GOD, do I want those things.
I love this. I’ve been trying to live more openly, but it’s so much easier said than done. When I fall, I fall hard, although I stand up stronger everytime.
PS. I want to take a yoga class. Badly.
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..I love Lady Gaga besides this video =-.
For most of my life I’ve been a very reserved person. I have a dad who gives his all to his students and to the world, but had a really hard time bringing that home until recently. My mother’s father abandoned her and her four siblings when she was young, so she never learned to give anything emotionally.
So, now that I’m older and I have a larger perspective than I did as a kid, I’ve committed myself to giving as much of myself as I can. I’ve found that this giving doesn’t empty my core at all. Rather, it just makes more room and time for me to receive love right back.
.-= Her´s last blog ..My miscarriage and Ted Kennedy =-.
Oh pigeon, the pose that after 8 years of regular yoga practice I still enter begrudgingly and come out of feeling liberated. Bridge makes me feel so powerful, one of my favorites. I love the way you articulate this, Doniree.
To me living with an open heart is welcoming new paths as each one reveals itself and being willing to explore its possibilities. I always say that my life moves forward one stepping stone at a time. If I don’t take that step, follow where my heart guides me, how will I ever know where it leads?
Being open brings growth, learning, and peace. All of which I strive to fill my life with.
How I found this post, right now, on my phone in bed…I thank the universe. I needed this. I am working so hard on letting go of some grudges, resentment, etc because I know those emotions are taking up space where love, joy, etc could be. I haven’t practiced yoga (yet), but I’m a marathon runner and you have motivated me not only to let go of some things from the past, but run another mile when I think I just can’t.
Thank you
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