It’s arguable I’m one of those rose-colored glasses people. It’s painfully obvious I’m not a glass half-empty person, but a GRAB-A-TOWEL!-MY-CUP-RUNNETH-OVER! person.
A history lesson
I’ve dealt with some random anxiety issues, off and on, for the last few years. I blogged about it on an old blog (post was imported and now lives on this blog). They started in college when I decided I wanted to hide from everything that meant I had to know what I was doing after graduation.
Seemingly everyone: So what do you plan to DO with that psych degree?
Me: dfafjdkjadfljafja. Panic.
I made the decision to actually talk to someone about unexplained panic attacks and what felt like the start of a general disconnection from my world. I learned a few things about myself, about how to cope with anxiety, and how I see the world.
When I told the doc that I was having a hard time identifying and understanding someone who was just “SO black and white” when I saw the world in gray, she stopped me and said:
No. You see the world in COLOR.
Those words have stuck with me like few others ever have for so long, and have molded the way I not only see things, but approach everything.
A larger-scale worldview
Over the course of the last few years, that “life in color” idea has expanded. I’ve learned to deal with other forms of anxiety: I hate flying, but I’ll be damned if I stop traveling; I’m afraid of danger out in the world and mean people, but I’m never going to be a homebody, hermit type to avoid them.
I’ve learned that a lot of these fears can be controlled, or at least managed, through the power of thought. I can choose to fear the unknown. I can choose to let fear and worry take up the space between thoughts and plans in my mind. And when I do that, I find myself anxious. I find myself worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and attracting the very things I fear.
When I instead choose to fill my thoughts and feelings with love, joy, and kindness, I find that that is what I attract in my life. That’s not to say I’m naive and will run around sketchy parts of towns in the middle of the night. I’m a positive thinker, but I’m not reckless.
It’s true that bad things happen, that not everyone has been surrounded by experiences that mirror unicorns and rainbows and pots of gold. I get that. I’ve lived through my own challenges and my own fears. But I do know, and I do believe at my very core that while there are exceptions and this can’t be a blanket statement… I do trust the good in people. I trust that it exists more than it doesn’t. I trust easily. Always have. Sometimes, sure, I have been let down, but the times I haven’t? Far outweigh the times I have, additionally inspiring some of the most enriching relationships I have ever known.
Call me naive, call me crazy. But I’ll call you friend until you prove me wrong.
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
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I love “try to leave each day better than when I entered it.” What an amazing way to live your life – absolutely love that.
Worked. Some have said that a refresh solved it – other say that they can't even get into the box to comment. Thanks for checking this out!
I am having trouble commenting on your post in Firefox (I cannot click & type into the box). It is working in Chrome, though.
I am with you on assuming that people are basically good. I have certainly been burned for being too trusting, and I am still learning in which situations I am better off putting up a guard, but I am generally a positive and open person and I would hate to be anything else.
And you know, as for the question of what to do with your degree after graduation? I get that all the time! I am graduating college with an MA in American and Spanish Lit this summer and I have no idea what I will be doing afterwards. I am considering several jobs but I do not have my eyes set on anything specific, there is not one job I think of as the one. And somehow I am okay with that. Maybe I will not be once graduation is only a few weeks away and once I do not have my exams to think about, but right now I am not worried. I am not anxious because I have the belief that somehow everything is going to work out as it's supposed to. I believe that I will be okay. And maybe that is naive, but I'd take it any day over worrying about my future every second of the day.
P.S. This post just made me subscribe to your blog.
Note that this email showed up about an hour later than the comment. Thanks for working on this!
test comment #giannii
This post was amazing. I will admit that I only stop by every once and a while but this one really caught my attention.
I too try to give life, and people in it the benefit of the doubt. Most people are basically good, everyone is flawed. I do think there are people out there who's wires get crossed. I am the type of person who is easily to trust but once broken it is almost never regained.
My goal for this year is to let nothing get in my way, and if I am afraid to do it, it is absolutely worth it.
You are incredible.
Every morning I wake up to a framed poster above my bed that reads “Where I'm from, there is no Plan B. So take advantage of today because tomorrow is not promised” which I loosely base my life around. I'm certainly not as bright and shiny as you are, but I try to leave each day better than when I entered it, and to not waste my time. Which doesn't mean being busy all the time, but rather actively pursuing dreams and goals that matter, and ditching the ones that don't.
I believe in being overly nice to strangers, trusting, and living without fear.
hij
I love “try to leave each day better than when I entered it.” What an amazing way to live your life – absolutely love that.
Worked. Some have said that a refresh solved it – other say that they can't even get into the box to comment. Thanks for checking this out!
Thank you for this, Doni
I needed to read it today. I've been so caught up in being pessimisstic and drowning in my own thoughts and worries. Our minds are seriously powerful and I think if we can train them to focus on the positive like you mentioned, we'll be better off.
Thank you again for this beautiful post!
I am having trouble commenting on your post in Firefox (I cannot click & type into the box). It is working in Chrome, though.
I am with you on assuming that people are basically good. I have certainly been burned for being too trusting, and I am still learning in which situations I am better off putting up a guard, but I am generally a positive and open person and I would hate to be anything else.
And you know, as for the question of what to do with your degree after graduation? I get that all the time! I am graduating college with an MA in American and Spanish Lit this summer and I have no idea what I will be doing afterwards. I am considering several jobs but I do not have my eyes set on anything specific, there is not one job I think of as the one. And somehow I am okay with that. Maybe I will not be once graduation is only a few weeks away and once I do not have my exams to think about, but right now I am not worried. I am not anxious because I have the belief that somehow everything is going to work out as it's supposed to. I believe that I will be okay. And maybe that is naive, but I'd take it any day over worrying about my future every second of the day.
P.S. This post just made me subscribe to your blog.
Note that this email showed up about an hour later than the comment. Thanks for working on this!
test comment #giannii
I'm working towards seeing the world in a positive light after allowing negative thoughts to dominant me for much too long. I never would have linked my anxiety to these negative thoughts before, but it makes perfect sense. Sometimes all it takes is another perspective to open your eyes to a new approach with unlimited potential.
This post was amazing. I will admit that I only stop by every once and a while but this one really caught my attention.
I too try to give life, and people in it the benefit of the doubt. Most people are basically good, everyone is flawed. I do think there are people out there who's wires get crossed. I am the type of person who is easily to trust but once broken it is almost never regained.
My goal for this year is to let nothing get in my way, and if I am afraid to do it, it is absolutely worth it.
hij
Thank you for this, Doni
I needed to read it today. I've been so caught up in being pessimisstic and drowning in my own thoughts and worries. Our minds are seriously powerful and I think if we can train them to focus on the positive like you mentioned, we'll be better off.
Thank you again for this beautiful post!
I'm working towards seeing the world in a positive light after allowing negative thoughts to dominant me for much too long. I never would have linked my anxiety to these negative thoughts before, but it makes perfect sense. Sometimes all it takes is another perspective to open your eyes to a new approach with unlimited potential.
I try to see the world in a really positive way and when bad things happen (which they do) I try to see the best in the situation and learn from it…
Great post and great questions.
I used to be major pessimist. I still have a balanced outlook on life. I try to think about negatives and positives. In my experience, there are pros and cons to everything, so nothing is ever black or white. Sometimes I think of worst case scenarios so I know I can handle it if something doesn't turn out how I want. I guess it is a coping mechanism. But I am more and more optimistic about things now and always find the silver lining.
We all have the potential to do good or bad things… it's like the whole Harry Potter concept. At some point, we must choose the correct path or choice of us because we have to look at ourselves in the mirror every day. We have to walk around in our body. No one else does. So it is up to us to make our own choices and do what we feel is right. Some people do not have the self-awareness or self-love or knowledge or tools to be good or to do the right thing. We can give people the benefit of the doubt, but if they cause us harm, it is up to us to let it go and move on. I have struggled with this because I used to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and people took advantage of me a lot. Now I give people a second chance, but never a third. I can't waste my time anymore. There are too many wonderful people in this world to waste my time on liars, cheaters, haters, etc.
As for trust… I used to keep up a wall and not trust anyone. But 5 years ago I made the decision to open myself and my heart to pain and joy. I think I trust people now right away, but if you break my trust once, it will take a long time to earn my trust back. The most important thing is to trust YOURSELF.
I also agree with people when they say it is important to treat people in a way that allows them to see their full potential. We can set an example for people who are struggling by being kind and honest and trustworthy. I have been amazed at the number of people of who are blindsided by my trust in their ability to make good on a promise or to turn around from something negative.
I try to see the world in a really positive way and when bad things happen (which they do) I try to see the best in the situation and learn from it…
It takes me less time now than it used to to open up and trust people. But, I probably take longer than average to be able to do that.
That being said, I do believe that people are basically good. I believe that people have the ability to both good and/or bad with their lives, and that most people want to do good.
I think I'm past being too afraid to do things. At least, I hope I am.
Great post and great questions.
I used to be major pessimist. I still have a balanced outlook on life. I try to think about negatives and positives. In my experience, there are pros and cons to everything, so nothing is ever black or white. Sometimes I think of worst case scenarios so I know I can handle it if something doesn't turn out how I want. I guess it is a coping mechanism. But I am more and more optimistic about things now and always find the silver lining.
We all have the potential to do good or bad things… it's like the whole Harry Potter concept. At some point, we must choose the correct path or choice of us because we have to look at ourselves in the mirror every day. We have to walk around in our body. No one else does. So it is up to us to make our own choices and do what we feel is right. Some people do not have the self-awareness or self-love or knowledge or tools to be good or to do the right thing. We can give people the benefit of the doubt, but if they cause us harm, it is up to us to let it go and move on. I have struggled with this because I used to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and people took advantage of me a lot. Now I give people a second chance, but never a third. I can't waste my time anymore. There are too many wonderful people in this world to waste my time on liars, cheaters, haters, etc.
As for trust… I used to keep up a wall and not trust anyone. But 5 years ago I made the decision to open myself and my heart to pain and joy. I think I trust people now right away, but if you break my trust once, it will take a long time to earn my trust back. The most important thing is to trust YOURSELF.
I also agree with people when they say it is important to treat people in a way that allows them to see their full potential. We can set an example for people who are struggling by being kind and honest and trustworthy. I have been amazed at the number of people of who are blindsided by my trust in their ability to make good on a promise or to turn around from something negative.
I like how you said that you believe people have the ability to do both/either, but that inherently – we want to do good.
I can't even tell you how timely all of this perspective is. It's beautiful. You're right. Not everyone has the tools (yet) to understand and confidently choose our own choices. I'm still learning all of that, but I like to believe I'm at a turning point in that journey and can see just a little clearer than before. Well, well stated, love.
And now I'm contemplating… do I trust MYSELF?
Excellent perspective, because negative does happen, but there's a lesson in anything.
Agreed. And I've been fortunate to surround myself in the last year or so with people who have challenged and opened up my perspective. And it's been wonderful
You're absolutely welcome!
Our thoughts ARE powerful, so focus on the beautiful – that's what I'm shooting for anyway.
I was completely freaked out this morning on a hike with my roommate – we're total city girls and complete rookies at this hiking business, so we scared ourselves a little crazy with the UPHILL climbs up ice and then downhill slips right back down it… but at the top? WE CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN and didn't even realize it. So yes, the things that scare us are absolutely worth conquering
It takes me less time now than it used to to open up and trust people. But, I probably take longer than average to be able to do that.
That being said, I do believe that people are basically good. I believe that people have the ability to both good and/or bad with their lives, and that most people want to do good.
I think I'm past being too afraid to do things. At least, I hope I am.
I like how you said that you believe people have the ability to do both/either, but that inherently – we want to do good.
I can't even tell you how timely all of this perspective is. It's beautiful. You're right. Not everyone has the tools (yet) to understand and confidently choose our own choices. I'm still learning all of that, but I like to believe I'm at a turning point in that journey and can see just a little clearer than before. Well, well stated, love.
And now I'm contemplating… do I trust MYSELF?
Excellent perspective, because negative does happen, but there's a lesson in anything.
Agreed. And I've been fortunate to surround myself in the last year or so with people who have challenged and opened up my perspective. And it's been wonderful
You're absolutely welcome!
Our thoughts ARE powerful, so focus on the beautiful – that's what I'm shooting for anyway.
I was completely freaked out this morning on a hike with my roommate – we're total city girls and complete rookies at this hiking business, so we scared ourselves a little crazy with the UPHILL climbs up ice and then downhill slips right back down it… but at the top? WE CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN and didn't even realize it. So yes, the things that scare us are absolutely worth conquering
I used to be your antithesis: mistrusting, pessimistic. These days, I find it far more comfortable to leave my love on the table for all to share. Trust between friends can be almost instantaneous for me. Trust between me and my clients takes a bit longer because I have to maintain a professional attitude (which bloody well sucks sometimes; I'd rather be my crazy self).
So no, you're not naive. People may be inherently flawed but are capable of great good (and great evil); it all depends on the person. But optimism is contagious. Let's spread the love.
Side note: So glad I found you through Skool of Life. You're pretty rockin'.
I used to be your antithesis: mistrusting, pessimistic. These days, I find it far more comfortable to leave my love on the table for all to share. Trust between friends can be almost instantaneous for me. Trust between me and my clients takes a bit longer because I have to maintain a professional attitude (which bloody well sucks sometimes; I'd rather be my crazy self).
So no, you're not naive. People may be inherently flawed but are capable of great good (and great evil); it all depends on the person. But optimism is contagious. Let's spread the love.
Side note: So glad I found you through Skool of Life. You're pretty rockin'.
Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you found me through Skool of Life also
I love your words on optimism and spreading the love. I believe that's powerful 
Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you found me through Skool of Life also
I love your words on optimism and spreading the love. I believe that's powerful 
I was telling a fellow blogger friend how much I admire your positive approach to life. When I said I wish I were more like that, she said, “So be that way.”
It has stuck. A change in the way one thinks about a situation can bring about so much good. Thank you for being an example.
Thank you for this comment. It's feedback like this that fuels me. I know exactly what that feels like – making the decision to “be that way,” and the beautiful results of that which come after
Hope you stick around!
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