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I had a neat little moment on a flight once. I was 14, was flying back from Honolulu to Los Angeles after a trip to Hawaii with my family, and realized that flying over water was making me a little nervous. It just seemed so huge and unending, and everything in me longed to be back over and firmly on solid ground.
We were flying through the night, and I remember looking out the window and noticing this one particularly bright star. I locked on it, taking comfort in knowing that no matter where we were, for hundreds of miles I could see it. For some reason, that made everything feel familiar, consistent, and even a little comfortable.
#mn2co
This past Saturday, I loaded up a rental car, hugged my parents, sister, and brother-in-law goodbye, and set out west for Colorado. I knew I was going to miss them – I’m very close with my family, and with the exception of my sophomore year spent in Milwaukee, have never lived farther than across the suburbs from any of them. I knew things would be different, but I didn’t realize exactly what that would feel like until after we were on the road. I cried when I said goodbye in the kitchen and again in the driveway, and remember taking very deliberate steps to get in the car and drive off.
And wouldn’t you know it, I cried again after mom and I exchanged a few emails… she told me how proud she was of me for following my dreams, but how much she’d miss me just popping in for wine and dinner. It continued to hit me that I couldn’t just do that from out here, that calling up on some random Tuesday and letting them know I’d be showing up later wouldn’t be possible. It’s little things like this that keep reminding me that making this choice set into play some kind of ripple effect of Things That Won’t Quite Be The Same.
There will be (and has already been!) great adventure and exploration and growth and all of that, and being able to catch the Colorado sunrise out here two mornings in a row have me absolutely captivated. But when I come home next, my sister and her husband may have found a new house, my parents may be working towards their own location changes, and I’ll have missed a handful of family dinners when we all just randomly decide to show up.
Omaha Star
We were somewhere around Hastings, Nebraska on Saturday night when I noticed that the bright star I’d first spotted at sunset near Omaha was still visible. Now later, it was even brighter against the dark sky. I leaned forward from the passenger seat, followed it for a few minutes, and started to bask in the connectedness I felt by watching this one focal point, mile after mile. Not to go all An American Tail on you, but knowing that the same sky that covered Minnesota also covered Nebraska and Colorado, made me feel a little less far from home.
When I first spotted the star near Omaha, I made a wish. And yes, I most absolutely still wish on stars. I can tell you what I wished for because it’s already come true.
In the few hours leading up to sunset, I’d been sharing tweets and emails with my mom, both of us a bit emotional over the physical distance now between us. Honestly, I think I was wiping tears from my eyes for a good 50 miles at some point.
Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight.
I wished for peace, for me, for my family, for so many of my friends taking risks, making changes, challenging everything we know as our own comfort zones. I wished for the openness to feel every single emotion in this ride and to not bury or hide from any of them. I wished for the ability to recognize and experience the sadness of being so far from home but the excitement and wonder of starting fresh in a new and beautiful place. I wished for peace despite knowing I cried when Des Moines felt too far from home, when Omaha felt farther, and again when the Colorado border welcomed me with beautiful sunrises and giant mountains that serve as a reminder as to just how far I am from Cottage Grove, Minneapolis, Richfield, or Crystal.
What about you?
I know I’m not the first person ever to uproot and move away, and even though I plan to make it back to Minnesota, that doesn’t change the fact that rightthissecond? I feel very bittersweetly excited and bright-eyed. I’m so thrilled to see mountains every time I go outside, and I already have a network of great girlfriends, roommates lined up that I can’t wait to live with, and a list of things to do and place to explore.
I’m ready to take Colorado by storm, kids – but I’d love to maybe fold the US somewhere in Nebraska to bring Colorado closer to Minnesota. No offense, Nebraska, but really? You have a LOT of space there. I’m sure we could move a few towns closer together, is all I’m saying.
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
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I DO miss you! Also? I love knowing Roxy's in good hands – thanks for taking care of her for me. And thank you so much for these words of support and encouragement – I can't tell you how much this means to me. And you can believe I'll give it all I've got. I will. I will work my tail off and make it all happen.
And I'll email you and mom all about it. It'll be that last weekend in February that I'll be coming home – I'm thinking a Thursday – Sunday, but we can make those plans later. I look forward to kitchen dancing, and perching in my corner on the counter tops.
PS – Now… get out here and golf with us already, ok?
I did want a challenge. And I'm so glad you ran with the American Tail bit and mentioned the 'wishing on a star' thing, because that little piece of cartoon history has popped in my head more than once now. It's funny, how far away home can feel but then how connected EVERYTHING can feel when you realize we're all really under the same blanket, in the same place. And I haven't seen (or even heard of?) “Community,” so I will absolutely look that up – thanks John!
Come visit now. Ok? Ok. Awesome. Glad that's settled. (I miss you to and your love and support are fueling me. THANK YOU)
That's awesome, because I love peeking into your prairie world
Thanks, love.
I'm so excited for this new adventure for you, but I'm totally with you on feeling the pain physical distance can bring sometimes. I moved to Canada when I was 15, and ten years later England still feels like the place I really belong in – not just because it's my home, but because of all the wonderful things it offers to the world – I really have a sense of pride about it and it makes me upset not to be living there sometimes. The bigger part of it is at times when my older relatives are going through some tough times, or health problems – like my nan being in the hospital and being so many thousands of miles away I can't do anything to help. That hurts, too. But the internet is a wonderful thing for staying in touch – I feel that much closer to home when I get emails or Facebook messages from old friends in the UK, or listen to my BBC radio every day.
I was a military wife for five years, you move around A LOT! It's exciting moving to an entirely new region, scary too. Good luck with all your plans, I'll be waiting to read about them!
I'm so glad you're here! I know the bittersweet feeling… I went through exactly the same thing when we left DC for Colorado. Saying goodbye to my sister was the worst part. I still sometimes wonder what the hell I was thinking moving so far from my family and awesome network of friends, but I also know that this is the place for us. So I'm happy. But still working on trying to build that local friend network.
Ahhh this is the main reason why I can't bring myself to move to Seattle just yet. I don't want the tearful goodbyes with mom
Good luck on your move though hon, I know you'll continue to rock the joint 
I am truly happy for you Doni. Best wishes on your new adventure!
man, if i could fold the states in half, i totally would. i miss my hometown, family and best friends more than life itself… however, in implementing the foldage (real word, i swear), i'd probably knock out minnesota AND colorado, so i'll let you stick with just knocking out nebraska.
I'm so excited for this new adventure for you, but I'm totally with you on feeling the pain physical distance can bring sometimes. I moved to Canada when I was 15, and ten years later England still feels like the place I really belong in – not just because it's my home, but because of all the wonderful things it offers to the world – I really have a sense of pride about it and it makes me upset not to be living there sometimes. The bigger part of it is at times when my older relatives are going through some tough times, or health problems – like my nan being in the hospital and being so many thousands of miles away I can't do anything to help. That hurts, too. But the internet is a wonderful thing for staying in touch – I feel that much closer to home when I get emails or Facebook messages from old friends in the UK, or listen to my BBC radio every day.
Every little bit helps, right?
Ahhh this is the main reason why I can't bring myself to move to Seattle just yet. I don't want the tearful goodbyes with mom
Good luck on your move though hon, I know you'll continue to rock the joint 
Big decisions like moving are always a mixed bag, I think. I nearly moved to St. Louis for a boy 2 years ago, but I got cold feet. I still wonder sometimes what my life would be like if I'd had the courage to do it.
It's big and scary and there will be hard days, but man are you living your life! I can promise you that even if it doesn't go exactly as planned, you will always be proud of yourself and appreciate the growth that results from this experience! Hang in there
.
I am truly happy for you Doni. Best wishes on your new adventure!
man, if i could fold the states in half, i totally would. i miss my hometown, family and best friends more than life itself… however, in implementing the foldage (real word, i swear), i'd probably knock out minnesota AND colorado, so i'll let you stick with just knocking out nebraska.
I'm always more nervous flying over water than land. How does that make ANY sense?
It doesn't. But then, I certainly never claimed to.
Every little bit helps, right?
You can go ahead and fold NE in 1/2 in my book. It's empty and FAR too wide.
Congrats on your big move! So excited to hear all about your new life out there. You rock girl!
that's a really brave wish to ask for! that's really great that you asked for that, and that your wish was granted. best of luck in CO!
Big decisions like moving are always a mixed bag, I think. I nearly moved to St. Louis for a boy 2 years ago, but I got cold feet. I still wonder sometimes what my life would be like if I'd had the courage to do it.
It's big and scary and there will be hard days, but man are you living your life! I can promise you that even if it doesn't go exactly as planned, you will always be proud of yourself and appreciate the growth that results from this experience! Hang in there
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I'm always more nervous flying over water than land. How does that make ANY sense?
It doesn't. But then, I certainly never claimed to.
You can go ahead and fold NE in 1/2 in my book. It's empty and FAR too wide.
Congrats on your big move! So excited to hear all about your new life out there. You rock girl!
that's a really brave wish to ask for! that's really great that you asked for that, and that your wish was granted. best of luck in CO!
this post comforted me
thanks for wishing peace. i'll shoot for the same!
this post comforted me
thanks for wishing peace. i'll shoot for the same!
Or crazy? You know what's funny? I saw parts of “Joe Dirt” yesterday and they keep saying “Home is where you make it,” and I was all… YEAH. I mean, my family is my family and always will be, but it's totally possible for me to carve out a home-feeling here too. Right?
I have a pretty good feeling I'll end up back closer to my family, and I am really excited about the rest of this adventure that just started
That episode was pretty freaking amazing. I think that show is so well written.
I'm so glad there was some comfort in this! Good luck on your adventures – you must leave soon, huh?
Or crazy? You know what's funny? I saw parts of “Joe Dirt” yesterday and they keep saying “Home is where you make it,” and I was all… YEAH. I mean, my family is my family and always will be, but it's totally possible for me to carve out a home-feeling here too. Right?
I have a pretty good feeling I'll end up back closer to my family, and I am really excited about the rest of this adventure that just started
That episode was pretty freaking amazing. I think that show is so well written.
I'm so glad there was some comfort in this! Good luck on your adventures – you must leave soon, huh?
What an amazing thing for you to do!! I wish I were strong enough to get up and go like you are. I'm sure you will be happy there!
What an amazing thing for you to do!! I wish I were strong enough to get up and go like you are. I'm sure you will be happy there!
I have a feeling I'll be this way when I move out there. I'm scared it'll hit me mid drive that I am NOT going back to NYC. For some reason I have this belief that I *AM* going back there and it makes it not so hard that my friends are going to be a couple time zones away. But this move is going to be great. I just know it, once I pass the initial pangs of longing for family and friends.
I'm so proud of you for following your dreams and I am so honored to be included in them! Thank you for helping me live more spontaneously and actively pursue my dreams as well. I can't wait to be roommies in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!! Wee!!
Loves this. LOVES THIS.
Now, get out here already! Ok, and actually, I mean I'm going to have to pick your brain in terms of how you left home the first time since you've already done NYC! and Europe! We'll fawn over our midwestern hometowns together all the while exploring the wine bars and hiking trails, how's that?
SO EXCITED.
I have a feeling I'll be this way when I move out there. I'm scared it'll hit me mid drive that I am NOT going back to NYC. For some reason I have this belief that I *AM* going back there and it makes it not so hard that my friends are going to be a couple time zones away. But this move is going to be great. I just know it, once I pass the initial pangs of longing for family and friends.
I'm so proud of you for following your dreams and I am so honored to be included in them! Thank you for helping me live more spontaneously and actively pursue my dreams as well. I can't wait to be roommies in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!! Wee!!
Loves this. LOVES THIS.
Now, get out here already! Ok, and actually, I mean I'm going to have to pick your brain in terms of how you left home the first time since you've already done NYC! and Europe! We'll fawn over our midwestern hometowns together all the while exploring the wine bars and hiking trails, how's that?
SO EXCITED.
Doni, I love this for you. SO very much and am so proud of you and cannot wait to hear about all of your adventures out west. Because I know it's going to be amazing.
And I just saw Michelle's comment about Fievel, and it made me a little teary, too. Gah.
Doni, I love this for you. SO very much and am so proud of you and cannot wait to hear about all of your adventures out west. Because I know it's going to be amazing.
And I just saw Michelle's comment about Fievel, and it made me a little teary, too. Gah.
I absolutely love this. I think that the best part about moving is realizing how lucky you are to have things and people to miss- and recognizing the potential to expand this to the place you move to.
And meeting awesome new people
Thanks, lady.
I absolutely love this. I think that the best part about moving is realizing how lucky you are to have things and people to miss- and recognizing the potential to expand this to the place you move to.
And meeting awesome new people
Thanks, lady.
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