What a feeling, bein’s believin’
I can’t have it all, now I’m dancin’ for my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life
Flashdance yoga?
You might recognize these lyrics from the iconic 80′s soundtrack from the movie Flashdance. If you don’t, I’ve included the video at the bottom of the page. You’re welcome.
So while that’s all fine and good, I’ll instead forever associate it with tonight’s savasana. Which, to this little yogi, is weird.
For those of you unfamiliar, savasana – Corpse Pose – is the final, resting posture in our asana yoga practices. It’s a lie-on-your-back, palms-face-up kind of posture where you allow your body to receive the benefits of the practice you just completed. It’s the death of this practice and the birth of a new one.
It tends to be the most challenging because we have such a freaking hard time just being still. Many a grocery list has been started in this pose, many a blog post has been written.
For instance, I started thinking about this one in tonight’s savasana. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I really tried to focus on not focusing. But here’s what happened:
Last week kicked the shit out of me. In every sense of that expression, last week literally put me through the fire, spit me out on the other side of it, and then held a mirror up so I could see the burns and the bruises and actually deal with them.
In English please?
I’m in a place where I’m anticipating a lot. Senses are heightened. The general vibe of my life feels buzzy. Yoga Teacher Training ends in 6 days. I start traveling again three days after that. Thanksgiving* is in just over two weeks. Everything coming up soon is GOOD, if not incredible, but last week I was just plain overstimulated.
And I started resisting a lot. Mentally and physically. I went into kind of a hermit-mode and opted for being at home instead of out just because I wanted shelter. I didn’t really make a conscious effort to do this; I just retreated. Then my body started reacting to these anxious feelings in a far-too-familiar way, waking up with my heart beating faster than it should at 6am. Caffeine made me jumpier than alert. Thoughts jumped around in my mind in ways I couldn’t control.
Halfway through college, I had the first of a handful of panic attacks. I dealt with these through a little bit of counseling and the introduction of yoga in my life and moved on. (Yes, a really abbreviated way to address what I respect is much less cut and dry, but this story isn’t about that).
What began to frustrate me last week is that I thought I was way over this. I’d learned coping methods. Yoga kept me balanced. I’m not under ANY negative stress. So if everything is so great; what is my body trying to tell me then?
The first thing I had to reconcile was the difference between the thoughts that said, “I shouldn’t be feeling like this,” and the thoughts that said, “But I do.”
I was resisting the idea that I was a competent teacher, that I was a capable professional, that I was a compassionate friend.
Getting Over It
Something finally started to click back into place on Saturday morning, and with something so simple as housecleaning. I looked around at a present state of disarray and decided to stop whining over the mess and start doing something about it.
Hang up shirt. Return book to bookshelf. Close drawer. Repeat.
Eventually, something was accomplished. There was floor space here, a clear tabletop there. In the same way, I told myself that all of these things I’m anticipating have been the result of taking small steps to make great strides. I showed up. I wrote a paragraph, then another. I made that phone call. I did the research.
And I found myself here.
Specifically, I found myself in this IntenSati yoga class in South Minneapolis tonight. Fifty minutes of what was more aerobics class meets affirmations workshop than any “yoga” class I’d ever experienced, but I had to give it to the instructor – I felt a little lighter, a little more in control of my own attitude.
“You get what you expect, so expect joy, love, greatness. You get what you project, so project what you want to receive.”
WELL YEAH. I’d been projecting “whiny bitch” all week and no wonder I felt like life beat me with a 2×4. So the switch flipped tonight. Cheesy weird unfamiliar as the whole process was.
Letting go of resistance
Ok, so we’re laying there (lying? I’m a word geek, but I can never remember that one), and this song comes on. It was a super slowed down calm version of the song, so I didn’t recognize it at first but I knew the lyrics, and the melody seemed familiar.
Finally, she reached, “Well… I… hear the music,” and I was singing along in my head. I knew this.
By “take a hold of my heart,” I was smiling.
By “What a feeling,” I might’ve been dancing there on my mat. Not much, maybe even just in my head. But I was smiling. I was jiving. I was finally present again where I was supposed to be.
I’m a tough cookie, yes. But just like anyone else, I have to go through personal challenges and even breakdowns before I can stand back up a little taller and start dancing again.
Today, I’m a little taller.
And will never hear that song the same again. But hey – I danced in savasana.
What a Feeling – Irene Cara, from the movie Flashdance
*This is important for multiple reasons, but we’ll get into that soon enough.
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! I want to get to a point where I can dance through savasana! I use to have good weeks followed by a good practice followed by …… bawling through savasansa.
Love the quote about getting what you project. Reminds me a lot of a book club meeting where we were discussing the concept of happiness and the others couldn't wrap their heads around the idea of waking up and choosing to be happy. Beautiful post – thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you! And while I've never cried in savasana, I HAVE in half pigeon.
Damn emotional hip openers, ha.
The instructor in this class said something about how bitterness and
“bummed-out-ed-ness” are learned behaviors, because we're so conditioned to
be dissatisfied. Interesting, huh? I'm going to have tough days,
obviously, but I don't have to dwell on them longer than it takes to work
through them.
i love that yoga does this for you. i hope as i get more into it, that it can do the same for me, cuz i know that i could use an attitude adjustment once in a while.
i think so far the savasana has been the most difficult pose for me. sure there are certain stretches that my body isn't used to yet, but my mind is the part i have trouble with. it's so hard for me to just lay there, and not think about everything going on in my crazy life. i hope as time goes on, that i really learn the purpose behind taking that last 15 minutes or so of class to let go of all my worries, unfinished tasks, and future endeavors.
just from attending a few classes, i can see yoga becoming a constant in the rest of my life, and being able to read about how it's affecting yours makes me want to do it every single day.
Doniree…thank you.
I've been in a rut lately – feeling completely overwhelmed and dissatisfied (even though there's little to be dissatisfied with these days) – but instead of DOING something about it, I'll shut down. I'll sit, and complain.
I used to be this positive person, but now I'm all pessimism and sleep. I'm way stronger and more intelligent and upbeat than I am letting myself be.
Seriously, thanks for this post.
This is amazing, wow. I love seeing what yoga does for other people,
knowing how it's impacted me so much as well. Savasana is challenging
because we just have to stop. We're not trying to keep breathing, we're not
thinking about how our hip flexers are feeling, we're just there. You'll be
amazed as you continually strengthen the mind-body connection what you're
capable of. I'm so excited you're hooked!
Wow, thank you for your comments. It's scary sometimes putting this out
there, but then knowing that other people go through challenges the same way
I do, well that's comforting. Good luck re-finding (new word, I said so)
your joy and positivity! Knowing you've got it in you means it's thisclose
to the surface again!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I actually stopped doing yoga in the mornings last week because being still was stressing me out. How dumb (and boring!) is that?
I've also been anticipating a lot lately- the end of this semester, a break from all this work, and the start of next semester. Never mind finding a job in my field, Mister being shipped out of province for work, and missing my friends who have moved away with a vengeance. And same deal- my panic started creeping back in. You and I clearly need to talk more. lol
It's hard, but letting it all rush over you and pass through you is the only way to deal with it sometimes. And sometimes dancing because everything coming your way is just so amazing? That's a good coping mechanism too =)
I car-dance. I kitchen-dance. Why wasn't I yoga dancing?! Now I am, ha.
And yes. Talk more. Really, let's get back on the video chat soon, I have
a feeling we'll very closely relate to each other.
I'm continually impressed with your memory of random Sanskrit I throw at
you.
And I don't think you put the right URL in again. I don't see the //, so
you might've 404'ed yourself again.
So, just spent some more time thinking about this….
Dance and Yoga are very intertwined. I know alot of people who wouldn't agree with me – but I started swing dancing about five years ago and discovered very quickly that despite the aggrivations that come with learning, going out after a difficult day at work was one of the healthiest things I could do mentally.
It was meditation in motion and similar to yoga it allows your mind and body to get back in touch with one another and just release. With dancing you also have the issues of drama that come with every social situation- but like savasana you can choose to let your mind get all worked up about who is watching you dance or whether or not your steps are right, or you can just go with it and be in the moment and make that moment blissful.
I guess it's not surprising at all that a song using dancing as a metaphor for the same thing would inspire you during yoga.
Yeah, that is beautiful. Really awesome perspective there, I absolutely
love it.
Um… a little ferclempt. Ok a LOT ferclempt.
Muscle memory, hip openers, RELAXING into the MOMENT, LETTING go, all of this… is just… well… epic stuff.
Thanks for sharing your experiences so openly with us. It is inspiring in so many ways.
I had to Google ferclempt (
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=...)
And thank YOU for so much encouragement through this whole thing. You're
inspiring, lady.
Wow! I want to get to a point where I can dance through savasana! I use to have good weeks followed by a good practice followed by …… bawling through savasansa.
Love the quote about getting what you project. Reminds me a lot of a book club meeting where we were discussing the concept of happiness and the others couldn't wrap their heads around the idea of waking up and choosing to be happy. Beautiful post – thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you! And while I've never cried in savasana, I HAVE in half pigeon.
Damn emotional hip openers, ha.
The instructor in this class said something about how bitterness and
“bummed-out-ed-ness” are learned behaviors, because we're so conditioned to
be dissatisfied. Interesting, huh? I'm going to have tough days,
obviously, but I don't have to dwell on them longer than it takes to work
through them.
i love that yoga does this for you. i hope as i get more into it, that it can do the same for me, cuz i know that i could use an attitude adjustment once in a while.
i think so far the savasana has been the most difficult pose for me. sure there are certain stretches that my body isn't used to yet, but my mind is the part i have trouble with. it's so hard for me to just lay there, and not think about everything going on in my crazy life. i hope as time goes on, that i really learn the purpose behind taking that last 15 minutes or so of class to let go of all my worries, unfinished tasks, and future endeavors.
just from attending a few classes, i can see yoga becoming a constant in the rest of my life, and being able to read about how it's affecting yours makes me want to do it every single day.
Doniree…thank you.
I've been in a rut lately – feeling completely overwhelmed and dissatisfied (even though there's little to be dissatisfied with these days) – but instead of DOING something about it, I'll shut down. I'll sit, and complain.
I used to be this positive person, but now I'm all pessimism and sleep. I'm way stronger and more intelligent and upbeat than I am letting myself be.
Seriously, thanks for this post.
This is amazing, wow. I love seeing what yoga does for other people,
knowing how it's impacted me so much as well. Savasana is challenging
because we just have to stop. We're not trying to keep breathing, we're not
thinking about how our hip flexers are feeling, we're just there. You'll be
amazed as you continually strengthen the mind-body connection what you're
capable of. I'm so excited you're hooked!
Wow, thank you for your comments. It's scary sometimes putting this out
there, but then knowing that other people go through challenges the same way
I do, well that's comforting. Good luck re-finding (new word, I said so)
your joy and positivity! Knowing you've got it in you means it's thisclose
to the surface again!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I actually stopped doing yoga in the mornings last week because being still was stressing me out. How dumb (and boring!) is that?
I've also been anticipating a lot lately- the end of this semester, a break from all this work, and the start of next semester. Never mind finding a job in my field, Mister being shipped out of province for work, and missing my friends who have moved away with a vengeance. And same deal- my panic started creeping back in. You and I clearly need to talk more. lol
It's hard, but letting it all rush over you and pass through you is the only way to deal with it sometimes. And sometimes dancing because everything coming your way is just so amazing? That's a good coping mechanism too =)
LOVE how you related what you are going through in life right now to your yoga practice! Awesome post. And I'm super excited that you danced in savasana. What a unique and exhilarating experience!
I car-dance. I kitchen-dance. Why wasn't I yoga dancing?! Now I am, ha.
And yes. Talk more. Really, let's get back on the video chat soon, I have
a feeling we'll very closely relate to each other.
I'm continually impressed with your memory of random Sanskrit I throw at
you.
And I don't think you put the right URL in again. I don't see the //, so
you might've 404'ed yourself again.
So, just spent some more time thinking about this….
Dance and Yoga are very intertwined. I know alot of people who wouldn't agree with me – but I started swing dancing about five years ago and discovered very quickly that despite the aggrivations that come with learning, going out after a difficult day at work was one of the healthiest things I could do mentally.
It was meditation in motion and similar to yoga it allows your mind and body to get back in touch with one another and just release. With dancing you also have the issues of drama that come with every social situation- but like savasana you can choose to let your mind get all worked up about who is watching you dance or whether or not your steps are right, or you can just go with it and be in the moment and make that moment blissful.
I guess it's not surprising at all that a song using dancing as a metaphor for the same thing would inspire you during yoga.
Yeah, that is beautiful. Really awesome perspective there, I absolutely
love it.
Def. feel you on the over stimulation. I need a breather!
AWESOME. I'm a total yoga noob – Kyla lent me her DVD “Yoga for Inflexible People” (I have a TONNE of back issues, which kind of totally turns me off of any physical activity, yoga included) and it actually WASN'T BAD the one time I tried it… and I totally loved the end part, just lying there after I'd pushed myself to my (immobile and horribly painful) limit, the sense of relaxation was so… appreciated. So I ordered my own copy, which arrived from Amazon last week. I'll have to let you know how I get on
Definitely keep me posted! A lot of yogis I know started doing yoga because
of injuries, and have since healed to a point where they're less affected by
them (or not at all!). Just be good to yourself and give it a shot, let me
know how it goes!
Do you notice that the further along you get with this yoga instructor training, the further along you get with your thought process and your ability to put those thoughts into words? Just something I've noticed … seems to be lots of benefits on a whole host of levels!
Um… a little ferclempt. Ok a LOT ferclempt.
Muscle memory, hip openers, RELAXING into the MOMENT, LETTING go, all of this… is just… well… epic stuff.
Thanks for sharing your experiences so openly with us. It is inspiring in so many ways.
I had to Google ferclempt (
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=...)
And thank YOU for so much encouragement through this whole thing. You're
inspiring, lady.
LOVE how you related what you are going through in life right now to your yoga practice! Awesome post. And I'm super excited that you danced in savasana. What a unique and exhilarating experience!
Def. feel you on the over stimulation. I need a breather!
I have got to remember this:
“You get what you expect, so expect joy, love, greatness. You get what you project, so project what you want to receive.”
It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in what's going on in our head and forget what we need and what we want. I'm going to include this in my new single girl mantra so thank you. And I'm glad you've figured out what works for you! It's got to feel good to be able to self-diagnosis and prescribe and fix!
AWESOME. I'm a total yoga noob – Kyla lent me her DVD “Yoga for Inflexible People” (I have a TONNE of back issues, which kind of totally turns me off of any physical activity, yoga included) and it actually WASN'T BAD the one time I tried it… and I totally loved the end part, just lying there after I'd pushed myself to my (immobile and horribly painful) limit, the sense of relaxation was so… appreciated. So I ordered my own copy, which arrived from Amazon last week. I'll have to let you know how I get on
Definitely keep me posted! A lot of yogis I know started doing yoga because
of injuries, and have since healed to a point where they're less affected by
them (or not at all!). Just be good to yourself and give it a shot, let me
know how it goes!
Do you notice that the further along you get with this yoga instructor training, the further along you get with your thought process and your ability to put those thoughts into words? Just something I've noticed … seems to be lots of benefits on a whole host of levels!
I've been vacillating between “so much good!” and “ahhh panic!” lately too.
It's us.
It's the time in our lives.
We're *fine*
I have got to remember this:
“You get what you expect, so expect joy, love, greatness. You get what you project, so project what you want to receive.”
It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in what's going on in our head and forget what we need and what we want. I'm going to include this in my new single girl mantra so thank you. And I'm glad you've figured out what works for you! It's got to feel good to be able to self-diagnosis and prescribe and fix!
I've been vacillating between “so much good!” and “ahhh panic!” lately too.
It's us.
It's the time in our lives.
We're *fine*
You make me want to start up with yoga again sooo much. In fact I may just have to build in some time today for it. I actually love savasana.. my brain is usually running a mile a minute, but it's quick to take a breather.
You make me want to start up with yoga again sooo much. In fact I may just have to build in some time today for it. I actually love savasana.. my brain is usually running a mile a minute, but it's quick to take a breather.