I don’t know where it started, but I’ve always felt the need to be backed up.
“I think I like these shoes”
“Oh, they’re SO you!”
My action: buy shoes
“Maybe I’d like to try this.”
“Do it! That’s so cool!”
My action: Do that.
But when it comes to bigger decisions, life path decisions, is this always the wisest thing to do? I’ve been thinking through a number of pretty major decisions lately, and often my first instinct when an idea crosses my mind is to immediately seek out feedback – who can I tell?! Who can I run this by? Who will validate me? Who will challenge me?
Not because I want praise or anything like that, but because I feel as though I need the affirmation -
“Yes! That’s a great idea! You can do it! You SHOULD so do it!”
And while I’ll note that I’m BEYOND blessed to have a strong support group of family and friends that will strongly tell me (sincerely!) that they believe I can do and be anything (astronaut! ballerina!), there will come a point where no amount of “yes you can!” will put one foot in front of the other, will be the “DO” in the “Look what I’ve DOne!” or will make any idea the right decision for me.
I’m also lucky enough to have some friends who have always allowed me to come to my own conclusions. Who have been cheerleaders and supporters without really ever affirming or contesting my ideas. Who’ve been a sounding board rather than an echo.
But this goes beyond that.
This is about taking a good look inward, identifying what I want, and having the balls to take the first step. The support will follow (because my friends are rockstars). But the decision, the step needs to be mine.
As with every major life decision or situation I encounter, I’m reminded of a scene and quote from Sex and the City. Oh yeah, I went there.
Charlotte makes the decision to leave her job at the museum to be a stay-at-home wife and try to start a family. She feels judged by her high-powered, career-driven friend Miranda, and pleads with Miranda, almost desperately, “I need you to get behind me!” Miranda responded, “YOU get behind you.”
YOU get behind you.
I’ve spent some serious time lately getting behind me, and while I’ve chosen to share snippets of the ideas with some people, I’m holding out a little on putting it out there while some details are ironed out (and conversations that need to happen first, happen).
I don’t mean to be a big tease-whore like “I’m so excited about things, but I’m not telling you yet!” but that’s kind of how it’s gotta be for now. Don’t worry though, My Favorite Blog Post Ever is just waiting for the right time for me to hit “publish.”
And that time is very, very soon.
I will say this – It would be very, very, VERY awesome if you could keep voting for me for the Good Mood Blogger Gig here. Like, SO awesome.
With love and so much gratitude.
{doniree}
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
I love it when Miranda shouts at Charlotte to get behind her choice. it's so true! And then Charlotte says something like I choose my choice!? That show really is so poignant more often than not to our lives, isn't it? Is that totally pathetic that I said that? Thinking through the big life decisions and making them on our OWN is really difficult sometimes, but you're right, it has to be done. WE have to live with ourselves and our decisions so WE have to be happ with them. Of course, I'm always willing to lend an ear if you need to chat and provide objective support unless you plan on jumping off a bridge or something in which case I'll tell you NOT to do it. Can't wait to read your favorite blog post ever!
You tease whore!! I can't wait! My Favorite Doniree Posts Ever are always the posts about you making an awesome decision and just DOING it. One of these days, you're going to motivate me to just make a decision and go for it….
Great post! That is why SATC is so great. So much of the subject matter is relate-able.
Can't say I know much about SATC so thanks for explaining the quotes.
And to your point, though encouragement counts for a lot in the reinforcement of a decision, your opinion is really what matters in the end. Just stick to your guns!
I love it when Miranda shouts at Charlotte to get behind her choice. it's so true! And then Charlotte says something like I choose my choice!? That show really is so poignant more often than not to our lives, isn't it? Is that totally pathetic that I said that? Thinking through the big life decisions and making them on our OWN is really difficult sometimes, but you're right, it has to be done. WE have to live with ourselves and our decisions so WE have to be happ with them. Of course, I'm always willing to lend an ear if you need to chat and provide objective support unless you plan on jumping off a bridge or something in which case I'll tell you NOT to do it. Can't wait to read your favorite blog post ever!
Can't say I know much about SATC so thanks for explaining the quotes.
And to your point, though encouragement counts for a lot in the reinforcement of a decision, your opinion is really what matters in the end. Just stick to your guns!
You tease whore!! I can't wait! My Favorite Doniree Posts Ever are always the posts about you making an awesome decision and just DOING it. One of these days, you're going to motivate me to just make a decision and go for it….
Well you totally just encourage me to 'get behind me' and put me in a good mood. Thanks, lady.
Great post! That is why SATC is so great. So much of the subject matter is relate-able.
being your own motivator is the best thing ever
Well you totally just encourage me to 'get behind me' and put me in a good mood. Thanks, lady.
I JUST started watching SATC after the movie came out. So now when I'm home by myself with nobody but the cat for company, I still have craploads of episodes I haven't seen yet to snuggle up with. (One of the pluses of the imminent Canadian Winter)
I love this post even though I don't know what at ALL is going on. I love it because I'm totally a “I want this! So I'm gonna go do it now!” kind of person, usually only to go running headfirst and halt at the last second before retreating back to somewhere more comfortable. I love it because tomorrow is probably my first ever attempt at keeping on running, and I'm excited, and so whatever it is that's about to happen for you, I'm excited for you too
Wow what a great post! All posts that mention SATC are great in my books, but I agree with what Miranda and you said, you have to get behing yourself in order to make good decisions, in the long run you'll be happier with yourself.
being your own motivator is the best thing ever
"I choose my choice! I choose my choice!" And then Miranda gets mad, throwsher neck out, and Aidan has to come pick her up off the bathroom floor witha towel and a bathmat.Oh, SATC, how wonderful you are.There will be no bridge-jumping. I can promise you that. Leap of faiththough? Mmmmaaaaybe…
You are fantastic. I won't tease anymore. Well, not too much.
Nailed it. Exactly. Support/reinforcement = awesome, etc., but in the end,I'm the one who has to live with the decisions, right?Right.You're wonderful.
no, YOU'RE wonderful. *does the double point thing*
Well written and SO true! This is something I too struggle with! I think most people seek out validation these days, it's hard not too with all the media and peoples personal beliefs so unabashedly thrown out for us to read on all over the internet! At the end of the day though, it's your eyes that are looking at you in the mirror each and everyday. Therefore you need to trust and love what you see…
What about both? An astronaut in a tutu?
Well written and SO true! This is something I too struggle with! I think most people seek out validation these days, it's hard not too with all the media and peoples personal beliefs so unabashedly thrown out for us to read on all over the internet! At the end of the day though, it's your eyes that are looking at you in the mirror each and everyday. Therefore you need to trust and love what you see…
"I choose my choice! I choose my choice!" And then Miranda gets mad, throwsher neck out, and Aidan has to come pick her up off the bathroom floor witha towel and a bathmat.Oh, SATC, how wonderful you are.There will be no bridge-jumping. I can promise you that. Leap of faiththough? Mmmmaaaaybe…
You are fantastic. I won't tease anymore. Well, not too much.
Nailed it. Exactly. Support/reinforcement = awesome, etc., but in the end,I'm the one who has to live with the decisions, right?Right.You're wonderful.
no, YOU'RE wonderful. *does the double point thing*
What about both? An astronaut in a tutu?
I think it is really hard to get behind yourself sometimes; we all crave the affirmation. But knowing you have friends that will be for you now matter what it half the battle. It is cynical of me, but I am always reminding folks that the only person there for you is YOU, so you have to be your number one cheerleader. Good luck.
ALL of it is, ha!
I think it is really hard to get behind yourself sometimes; we all crave the affirmation. But knowing you have friends that will be for you now matter what it half the battle. It is cynical of me, but I am always reminding folks that the only person there for you is YOU, so you have to be your number one cheerleader. Good luck.
ALL of it is, ha!
I know this
I love you so, so much.PS – I meant to tell you, you looked gorgeous this morning. 
I'll always be behind you love.
I know this
I love you so, so much.PS – I meant to tell you, you looked gorgeous this morning. 
I'll always be behind you love.
I used to be like that until like 2 months ago. Until 2 months ago, I had a large group of friends who I saw very often, if not daily, and for every little choice I made ("the green sweater or the purple sweater?") I consulted them.Now we've all moved on. We're all over France. I can't count on them for supporting my choices. So these 2 months have been all about learning how to back myself up. How to make my own choices, alone.Can't wait to hear the plans you're making!
I used to be like that until like 2 months ago. Until 2 months ago, I had a large group of friends who I saw very often, if not daily, and for every little choice I made ("the green sweater or the purple sweater?") I consulted them.Now we've all moved on. We're all over France. I can't count on them for supporting my choices. So these 2 months have been all about learning how to back myself up. How to make my own choices, alone.Can't wait to hear the plans you're making!
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