I sweat a lot during yoga.
Obviously, this is mostly true in hot yoga classes since those rooms are heated to 105 degrees, but I’m a wet, salty mess in all the other classes too.
I’m not just talking about a healthy glisten; I’m talking about sweating out of places you don’t think you typically sweat, places like calves and forearms and big toes.
Sexy, right? I know.
Of course, at the end of class it feels pretty damn good. It’s refreshing. It’s supposed to clear your pores. Regenerate your skin, they tell us.
And LET ME TELL YOU. Considering my forehead currently thinks it belongs to a 14-year old pubescent BOY, I’m absolutely buying into this whole “impurities are all coming to the surface thing.” Oh, impurities are surfacing alright, and they’re surfacing with a vengeance. My fair skin’s never seen such an effort trying to get back to the radiant glow we all saw here.
I get what’s going on in this whole process. Sweat, dirt, impurities, pores, breakouts. We all know our basic skin care; dealing with this is a pretty straightforward process*:
Cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize (protect!), repeat.
Fine. I can handle all that.
Turns out yoga’s more than just physical, folks.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional reaction (cleansing, if you will) I’d go through at the same time, but it NAILED me this week (Monday morning, to be exact).
Absolutely NAILED me.
It started when I realized I was taking everything personally. Little things that shouldn’t have even hit my radar were making me feel like people were attacking me. Like I was letting everyone down. Every conversation I had made me question what I was doing with my LIFE, and when you’re talking about things like Kings of Leon concerts, Scrabble, and Sam’s Club, this should NOT be the case. My eyes were doing that whole tears-welling-up-but-OMG-PULL-IT-TOGETHER-YOU-ARE-A-PROFESSIONAL-thing every five seconds. FOR NO PIN-POINTABLE REASON.
Fun little personality trait about me: when I get cranky and don’t know how/why it started, I get even MORE upset because 1) I feel like I’m wasting my time, and 2) If I don’t know how it started, how do I make it stop?!
And then I got mean (and I’m not mean!)
I knew it HAD to be addressed when I watched myself react in conversation with one particular [great, undeserving of my taking out my moodiness on them] friend, and it felt almost as if I was watching another person. Despite attempts to cheer me up and play nice (when I was certainly not playing fair), I resisted and pouted. The conversation went something like this:
Friend: Idea! Good feelings! Here’s something I know would make you smile! Go dance around in your kitchen and pound a bottle of champagne!
Me: Grumble, grumble.
Friend: No?! Ok! Here’s something funny! Laugh!
Me: Grumble, grumble. Throw dagger.
When I treat people the opposite of how I feel about them or intend to, when my sour mood affects my relationships, I know that’s something I have to remedy immediately.
To sort through all this, I decided to write things out. Write honestly. Write privately. Write feverishly.
So that’s what I did. When I stepped back to assess what was actually happening in my mind, I realized I was face-to-paper with a laundry list of negativity, self-doubt, and questions about EVERYTHING. Did I make the right decision when I decided to do this and not that? Am I being a good friend? Am I being a good daughter/sister/writer/yogi? What about this particular situation is actually what’s bothering me?
What is important to me?
The light bulb moment
Physically, yoga makes me sweat because I’m pushing muscles to strengthen and joints to open more than they ever have. It’s exertion. Sometimes it’s in 100+ degree studios. The result? During the getting-acclimated phase of this, I’ll break out. All the dirt and impurities hiding beneath the skin are pushed up and out, and my hairline decides it’s a hormonal teenage boy until I’ve cleared everything out of my skin system.
Emotionally? Same thing. I’m pushing myself to mental and physical limits I haven’t yet known or realized. I’m studying an open-heart/open-mind yogic lifestyle that’s forcing me to literally come face to face with fears, doubts, negative thoughts, and not only acknowledge them, but deal with them.
Did you catch that? I have to deal with them. Isn’t avoiding and denying your issues more fun?
We are our toughest critics, after all, and this is why it’s tough for me to ask myself the tough questions:
Are you prepared to do this (not just yoga but a number of things, anything)? Do you have the discipline and passion it takes to make shit happen?
You’re pushing every limit you’ve ever known, are you up for this?
Of course I am. One might even say I’m karmically ripe for this particular time in my life. The decisions I’ve made leading up to these moments have landed me exactly here at exactly the right time. And I’m going to own it.
Life is connected, things aren’t accidents, and I was never not coming here**.
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
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That poor verbally (typelly?) abused friend sounds absolutely wonderful.
Love it! I feel the exact same way! I wish everyone could experience hot yoga! I have been learning about it since college when I started doing it, but never practiced as intensely as I do now. I think the basic lessons of Yoga and Hinduism are the lessons I try to live by. If I have read the Upanishads once I have read it a thousand times. Anyway, I blacked out during yoga this week because I did not take care of myself that day and was so stressed, but then my following session was incredible on every level. My body is still sore (in a good way) from Wednesday's session and I was able to think rationally about sleeping tday because I want to be able to do a long class tomorrow. The sweating is so GROSS and girl, I have a special yogi toes matt to sop up the sweat, but it is AWESOME. When I first started doing it a year ago I would smell like coffee or whatever I had eaten that day obviously. Now on days when I do yoga I can tell I am taking care of myself better. I can't go every day with my schedule, but I have forced myself to go when I can and it makes a huge difference in my life. I consider it life altering on many levels. You are so brave to do this teacher training because it will really push you to be your true self and to love yourself all the way through. Being at peace and loving oneself in the moment are VERY difficult because people do not want to DEAL with things, like you said! Again, you rock!
I guess I'd smell like Napa or the Rhone.
Good for you! I bet showers feel better after a pore-opening workout.
Especially when good advice includes hooker references.
oh and one more thing… sometimes I lose my balance because sometimes I can't clear my thoughts due to level of HAWTNESS exuding from some of the guys in my classes. I mean, it's like an added perk of Enlightenment. Fine, muscular, sweaty guys without shirts. Sweet Jesus make them go away so I can focus focus focus on my balance. LOL.
I love this comment, Alex! And you're right – the loving yourself and taking
care of yourself ideals are something I'm working out too. I made some
decisions last night that are absolutely out of whack with what I've been
trying to practice this year (moderation in consumption aka I drank way too
much), and I'm trying to move past the icky feeling I have now because of it
(not related to the physical hangover, ha) and continue to grow beyond that
and make a better decision next time (just because the waiter refills your
wine glass does NOT mean you have to finish it).
And I actually wrote this post on Tuesday morning. Guess who had the best
yoga practice of her life Tuesday afternoon? Related? I'm sure of it
I'm sure I will tonight when I go
Oh HELL YES.
Maybe one of the reasons I can't handle yoga. And I'm the bendy strong sort. I usually get the giggles…
And avoiding our problems is totally more fun than dealing with them. Blech
That poor verbally (typelly?) abused friend sounds absolutely wonderful.
Love it! I feel the exact same way! I wish everyone could experience hot yoga! I have been learning about it since college when I started doing it, but never practiced as intensely as I do now. I think the basic lessons of Yoga and Hinduism are the lessons I try to live by. If I have read the Upanishads once I have read it a thousand times. Anyway, I blacked out during yoga this week because I did not take care of myself that day and was so stressed, but then my following session was incredible on every level. My body is still sore (in a good way) from Wednesday's session and I was able to think rationally about sleeping tday because I want to be able to do a long class tomorrow. The sweating is so GROSS and girl, I have a special yogi toes matt to sop up the sweat, but it is AWESOME. When I first started doing it a year ago I would smell like coffee or whatever I had eaten that day obviously. Now on days when I do yoga I can tell I am taking care of myself better. I can't go every day with my schedule, but I have forced myself to go when I can and it makes a huge difference in my life. I consider it life altering on many levels. You are so brave to do this teacher training because it will really push you to be your true self and to love yourself all the way through. Being at peace and loving oneself in the moment are VERY difficult because people do not want to DEAL with things, like you said! Again, you rock!
I guess I'd smell like Napa or the Rhone.
Good for you! I bet showers feel better after a pore-opening workout.
Especially when good advice includes hooker references.
oh and one more thing… sometimes I lose my balance because sometimes I can't clear my thoughts due to level of HAWTNESS exuding from some of the guys in my classes. I mean, it's like an added perk of Enlightenment. Fine, muscular, sweaty guys without shirts. Sweet Jesus make them go away so I can focus focus focus on my balance. LOL.
I love this comment, Alex! And you're right – the loving yourself and taking
care of yourself ideals are something I'm working out too. I made some
decisions last night that are absolutely out of whack with what I've been
trying to practice this year (moderation in consumption aka I drank way too
much), and I'm trying to move past the icky feeling I have now because of it
(not related to the physical hangover, ha) and continue to grow beyond that
and make a better decision next time (just because the waiter refills your
wine glass does NOT mean you have to finish it).
And I actually wrote this post on Tuesday morning. Guess who had the best
yoga practice of her life Tuesday afternoon? Related? I'm sure of it
I'm sure I will tonight when I go
Oh HELL YES.
Wow. This digs in….
And really spills the truth, too. No one fully realizes how much we carry around inside us; the toxins of everyday life are as caustic and as harsh as poison out of a bottle and yet there are millions of people getting out of bed everyday loaded down with enough garbage to choke an elephant. I did yoga for six months and always felt miserable, but I never understood why. Although I had a lot of health issues at the time, I'm sure some of it was the karmic release. Now when I do it, I love how it opens up my body, my joints and especially my heart and makes me almost laugh with delight. I love what it's done to my body.
And as for your face, just be kind to it. Don't step up your routine too much, or overdo it. Now that your skin is detoxifying, you just need to help it. Be sure to drink tons of water- no, I know you do, but I mean TONS- and step up your efforts to eat clean and whole foods. And keep talking about it. That's release in the highest form.
Coming to Crave Tuesday for Nutz?
“I love what it's done to my body”
I keep coming back to this feeling of capability. It seems as though
something new is accomplished in each class and I continue to realize just
how incredible our bodies are.
And I love the emotional/spiritual shift your heart/body has clearly
taken over time, and I know exactly what you mean about joints and
heart laughing with delight. It's a very joyful practice!
I'm
going to try to come to Crave on Tuesday! I have to be kind of
flexible with my schedule with these classes and homework, but I'm
certainly going to try. I should probably let Jared know that, huh?
Miss you!
I'm proud of ALL you're trying to do/doing………..Hang in there.
Wow. This digs in….
And really spills the truth, too. No one fully realizes how much we carry around inside us; the toxins of everyday life are as caustic and as harsh as poison out of a bottle and yet there are millions of people getting out of bed everyday loaded down with enough garbage to choke an elephant. I did yoga for six months and always felt miserable, but I never understood why. Although I had a lot of health issues at the time, I'm sure some of it was the karmic release. Now when I do it, I love how it opens up my body, my joints and especially my heart and makes me almost laugh with delight. I love what it's done to my body.
And as for your face, just be kind to it. Don't step up your routine too much, or overdo it. Now that your skin is detoxifying, you just need to help it. Be sure to drink tons of water- no, I know you do, but I mean TONS- and step up your efforts to eat clean and whole foods. And keep talking about it. That's release in the highest form.
Coming to Crave Tuesday for Nutz?
“I love what it's done to my body”
I keep coming back to this feeling of capability. It seems as though
something new is accomplished in each class and I continue to realize just
how incredible our bodies are.
And I love the emotional/spiritual shift your heart/body has clearly
taken over time, and I know exactly what you mean about joints and
heart laughing with delight. It's a very joyful practice!
I'm
going to try to come to Crave on Tuesday! I have to be kind of
flexible with my schedule with these classes and homework, but I'm
certainly going to try. I should probably let Jared know that, huh?
Miss you!
I'm proud of ALL you're trying to do/doing………..Hang in there.
I love your comments! Thanks, and I hope you're feeling better. We'll do yoga next time I come home
I love your comments! Thanks, and I hope you're feeling better. We'll do yoga next time I come home
Where is the “Like” button on this? Haha! I loved this, girl! My forehead/cheek/nose are also behaving like a 13 y.o.'s, but I don't think I am doing anything to really detox myself. Maybe it's just hormones gone wrong!
Love that quote too! And can't wait for the movie to be finished! Hope you had a great weekend!
I did bikram yoga (hot yoga) for a while, and the first time I was a bit weirded out to see sweat BEADING on my ankles. And good for you, hey that Yoga works both for you physically and emotionally. That's really awesome
Love the eat pray love quote, and your owning everything this is bubbling to your surface- you'll do good, kid. I'm sure of it =)
Thank you, lovely
And welcome home!
Where is the “Like” button on this? Haha! I loved this, girl! My forehead/cheek/nose are also behaving like a 13 y.o.'s, but I don't think I am doing anything to really detox myself. Maybe it's just hormones gone wrong!
Love that quote too! And can't wait for the movie to be finished! Hope you had a great weekend!
I did bikram yoga (hot yoga) for a while, and the first time I was a bit weirded out to see sweat BEADING on my ankles. And good for you, hey that Yoga works both for you physically and emotionally. That's really awesome
Love the eat pray love quote, and your owning everything this is bubbling to your surface- you'll do good, kid. I'm sure of it =)
Thank you, lovely
And welcome home!
hey yoga's supposed to be joyful too
Will you be seeing Eat, Pray, Love when the movie comes out?
I'm so glad you're doing this for yourself, Doni. I think the cleansing process is good for everyone. (I'm hoping to go through a similar process soon by doing a physical detox as well as more excercise + yoga … and I'm wanting to look into my spirituality.)
Great idea to write it out FOR YOURSELF. It's so hard to remember that I have a pencil and paper when my blog is so easy to access. Writing is such a beautiful form of therapy.
- I haven't decided about seeing the movie. I'm having kind of a hard time
with that idea because the book was so personal to me; I don't want to see
someone else's adaptation, dammit! I like my own interpretation of it.
Besides, I hear stories about how disruptive the filming crews were at the
ashrams and that doesn't sit right with me. So… who knows?
- I've always wanted to do the physical (food/water/etc/whatever) detox, but
haven't wanted to give up cheese and wine! Maybe I'll add this to my list
of things to do in the next year or so…
- Keeping my own journal (pen/paper or a file on the computer) is something
I've continued to do even after blogging. Sometimes I have to remind myself
that everything I write doesn't have to be public
hey yoga's supposed to be joyful too
Maybe I should do yoga as well? I'm a lot like that. And I often feel that people offend me by everything they say, even if when they don't mean it like that.
I read this yesterday, “We'd worry less about what others think of us when
we realize how little they actually do.”
And I suggest yoga. For any reason
Will you be seeing Eat, Pray, Love when the movie comes out?
I'm so glad you're doing this for yourself, Doni. I think the cleansing process is good for everyone. (I'm hoping to go through a similar process soon by doing a physical detox as well as more excercise + yoga … and I'm wanting to look into my spirituality.)
Great idea to write it out FOR YOURSELF. It's so hard to remember that I have a pencil and paper when my blog is so easy to access. Writing is such a beautiful form of therapy.
- I haven't decided about seeing the movie. I'm having kind of a hard time
with that idea because the book was so personal to me; I don't want to see
someone else's adaptation, dammit! I like my own interpretation of it.
Besides, I hear stories about how disruptive the filming crews were at the
ashrams and that doesn't sit right with me. So… who knows?
- I've always wanted to do the physical (food/water/etc/whatever) detox, but
haven't wanted to give up cheese and wine! Maybe I'll add this to my list
of things to do in the next year or so…
- Keeping my own journal (pen/paper or a file on the computer) is something
I've continued to do even after blogging. Sometimes I have to remind myself
that everything I write doesn't have to be public
iknewitiknewitiknewit!
When I described you as a person who “wherever she is, she belongs there” I had a feeling this would be accurate.
But now that you are where you are, it's not time to question your footsteps — it's to keep them planted. Go forth, bearer of the Aum.
Maybe I should do yoga as well? I'm a lot like that. And I often feel that people offend me by everything they say, even if when they don't mean it like that.
I read this yesterday, “We'd worry less about what others think of us when
we realize how little they actually do.”
And I suggest yoga. For any reason
iknewitiknewitiknewit!
When I described you as a person who “wherever she is, she belongs there” I had a feeling this would be accurate.
But now that you are where you are, it's not time to question your footsteps — it's to keep them planted. Go forth, bearer of the Aum.
I know what's it like to feel like the world is crumbling around you only to realize you have the power to change it and to do so? You have to deal with things. As an adult, dealing with things can be a lot harder than one thought. I've been dealing with “things,” a lot lately myself and while it's a growth process it's also very complicated and difficult.
Also, you've always been a good friend when I've needed one. Just thought you should know.
Hugs.
Yeah, now I want to hug you.
It IS a growth process, but that doesn't make it easy. Remind me to share
an analogy I recently read in one of my yoga books w/ y you sometime.
And thank you for that last note there
You can count on me, babe.
And I know I can count on you
I know what's it like to feel like the world is crumbling around you only to realize you have the power to change it and to do so? You have to deal with things. As an adult, dealing with things can be a lot harder than one thought. I've been dealing with “things,” a lot lately myself and while it's a growth process it's also very complicated and difficult.
Also, you've always been a good friend when I've needed one. Just thought you should know.
Hugs.
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