In his all-over-the-place best-selling book, The 4-Hour Workweek, Timothy Ferriss references the social phenomoneon that he calls “the cocktail question.”
You know what I’m talking about: the question that’s ALWAYS asked at cocktail parties, happy hours, family reunions/holidays, on first dates, or really anytime we’re in a so-and-so-meet-so-and-so situation.
It’s always the first question.
So. What do you do?
It’s an easy cop-out and icebreaker, and we know it’s coming, so we answer it.
I’m an accountant. I’m in advertising. I’m a teacher. A customer service rep, a cashier, stay-at-home-mom, stay-at-home-dad, a musician, a realtor, a insert-your-job-title-or-industry-here-er.
But I’d bet my britches that what your PROFESSION is, what your JOB is, what you do for 40 (or 50 or 60) hours each week and for x-amount of dollars each payday doesn’t define you, and that it’s only a sliver of what you do.
I’ve been mulling this question over and over lately as I’ve had to answer it a number of different times, having been put in a handful of new-people-situations this year. In one case in particular what this new friend wanted to know about me had only a tiny bit to do with what I get paid to do for 40ish hours each week.
So. What do I do?
The default answer to that cocktail question is that by day, I’m an online media buyer. I work in advertising, an industry that interests and challenges me with colleagues that teach and inspire me.
But it’s no where near all I do. Too often we let our job descriptions be our SELF descriptions and while I hope you hold a job that holds your attention and passions, I want to know what else you actually DO.
So. What DO I do?
Well, I write. For fun, for work, for correspondence, for posterity.
I learn. I have an insatiable curiosity for the things I’m interested in (includes, but is not limited to: maps, wine, your personal story, if I can pull off cowboy boots with skirts, why Taylor Lautner isn’t 10 years older, food photography, and where in Minneapolis (ok fine, THE WORLD) I can find the best cheese plate).
I travel. I read (ok, I try to read, but don’t as much as I’d like to).
I run. Not often enough, and I hate getting started but I do it and then I do some of my most clear thinking. I cook, a lot. However, I do NOT bake. I don’t like following directions (surprise, surprise), and I don’t have the patience for exact measurements, so I don’t bake. Unless it came in a box or a tube and just requires me to add some combination of water, oil, 2 eggs, and milk.
I DO make kickass blueberry waffles (from a box, with the addition of well, blueberries, and BUTTERMILK, oil, 2 eggs, and a few secret ingredients).
I car-dance. I drink coffee in the mornings, tea in the evenings. I drink champagne often just for the sheer hell of it.
I collaborate on some KICKASS side projects in the social media world. I practice yoga and will be all certified to teach it in 8 1/2 weeks. I spend too much money on iTunes. I host fabulous parties on behalf of Nintendo.
I spend time with my parents and sister at least every couple of weeks. Wine is always involved. Kitchen-dancing often is. I speak broken Spanish, but will try anyway. I Irish jig when I’m drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. Or someone plays Flogging Molly. Or someone tells me to.
I tweet, and blog, and subscribe, and follow. I dance. I sing really loudly in the car. I talk to myself. I meet my girlfriends for coffee or brunch or happy hour. I drink wine out of paper cups in hot tubs listening to Radiohead in the dead of Minnesota winters.
I drink beers on my patio with my roommates, walk barefoot through the backyard to take out the garbage just to feel the too-long-because-I-didn’t-mow-it grass between my toes, and sprawl outside on blankets with wine, take-out, and inspiring friends.
I dominate Catch Phrase. I do NOT play Monopoly.
I hand-make cards. I save things with sentimental value, even if only for a little while. I journal.
I put Sriracha sauce in my mac and cheese, eat fried okra like popcorn, and consider a cheese+bread+fruit plate to be a completely adequate dinner.
As of last weekend, I drink Grey Goose martinis, dirty. I furrow my eyebrows and make a scrunchy-nose face when I’m trying to figure something out. I laugh loudly. I change hair colors with the seasons, if not more often. I find sleeve tattoos, Eddie Vedder’s voice, Shannyn Sossamon, and tall men in sweatpants and t-shirts insanely sexy.
I wear leggings. With dresses, not as pants. I play guitar. Ok, so I really just play one Pearl Jam song (Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town), one Matchbox 20 song (Push), the intro to Dueling Banjos, and one riff (line? part? sequence?) of Tripping Billies.
I support the people I love. I rarely play devil’s advocate. I pry, but only because I have to know you better. I value family. I value friends that are like family. I eat my vegetables. I share my secrets quickly. I love deeply. I trust easily. I learn quickly. I kiss deliberately.
And this is just scratching the surface.
So sure. At first glance, I’m a media buyer, social media consultant, sister, daughter, friend.
But it’s not all I do.
What about you?
What do you do? From 9-5, in your waking hours, on your weekends, because you always have, or because you’ve always wanted to.
What do YOU do?
Doniree Walker is an aspiring yogini, jet-setter, foodie, and story-teller. She's a writer and geek girl by trade, and a lover and a connector by lifestyle, and is currently obsessed with: train travel, single-serving chocolate milk, and brand new notebooks. Oh, and she's also part supergirl. Wanna be friends? 
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Ok, this is my favorite response ever
Really though, I LOVE your answer. You DO a lot! And it seems like the
underlying theme is that you don't want to miss anything, that you're
absorbing everything. I love it
This is one of my favorite posts of all time. THANK YOU.
It inspired me…
“I, too, write. I write for work (sometimes), but I deal with many pieces of writing for work … which makes it difficult to go home at night and write for fun. But I used to write for fun, and I miss that.”
http://kacijohanna.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/mor...
And of course I gave you credit for the inspiration!
I just commented! Thanks for the shout-out and I'm so glad you were
inspired
This is one of my favorite posts of all time. THANK YOU.
It inspired me…
“I, too, write. I write for work (sometimes), but I deal with many pieces of writing for work … which makes it difficult to go home at night and write for fun. But I used to write for fun, and I miss that.”
http://kacijohanna.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/mor...
And of course I gave you credit for the inspiration!
I just commented! Thanks for the shout-out and I'm so glad you were
inspired
Great post with good suggestions for answering that question. Although I love what I do, I am more than my day job.
I'm a career counselor, so as you can imagine, if I tell people that in social gatherings, the conversation quickly turns to my thoughts on resumes, job search strategies, age discrimination, my opinion of the resecession and on.
I'd much rather be hearing about other people's hobbies or passions than having my brain picked about careers and job search while I'm trying to get some downtime.
I'd also much rather be talking about the last concert I went to, the lastest band review I'm working on for a music magazine, the next trip I'm planning, or my next foodie adventure. I also love watching footbal and the Pats! Those activities energize me.
Thanks for reminding us that we are more than our professions.
Great post with good suggestions for answering that question. Although I love what I do, I am more than my day job.
I'm a career counselor, so as you can imagine, if I tell people that in social gatherings, the conversation quickly turns to my thoughts on resumes, job search strategies, age discrimination, my opinion of the resecession and on.
I'd much rather be hearing about other people's hobbies or passions than having my brain picked about careers and job search while I'm trying to get some downtime.
I'd also much rather be talking about the last concert I went to, the lastest band review I'm working on for a music magazine, the next trip I'm planning, or my next foodie adventure. I also love watching footbal and the Pats! Those activities energize me.
Thanks for reminding us that we are more than our professions.
Hrm, now I want to try Lebanese biscuits. Hit me up when you make that
hobby happen!
Here's another one of those 'I wish I had written that' posts.
I HATE (no, ABHOR) hearing that question. For two reasons. 1) At 29, I've had so many different jobs it isn't even funny. 2) What I am doing at the moment is never THAT interesting.
I typically pick a hobby of mine and talk about that instead (and those change as much as my jobs, really). Right now it's internet marketing, but next week it may be Lebanese biscuit making.
Hrm, now I want to try Lebanese biscuits. Hit me up when you make that
hobby happen!
Here's another one of those 'I wish I had written that' posts.
I HATE (no, ABHOR) hearing that question. For two reasons. 1) At 29, I've had so many different jobs it isn't even funny. 2) What I am doing at the moment is never THAT interesting.
I typically pick a hobby of mine and talk about that instead (and those change as much as my jobs, really). Right now it's internet marketing, but next week it may be Lebanese biscuit making.
This is an amazing post.
Me?
I smile, I laugh, I cry, I read, I write, I watch TV, I listen to Hanson and feel happy, I drink wine because I know it will make my day better, I eat chocolate cupcakes, I wear pink dresses, I live for the winter, I curl my hair for fun, I try to floss regularly, I drink iced coffee, and I take naps. Plus some other stuff, too.
This is an amazing post.
Me?
I smile, I laugh, I cry, I read, I write, I watch TV, I listen to Hanson and feel happy, I drink wine because I know it will make my day better, I eat chocolate cupcakes, I wear pink dresses, I live for the winter, I curl my hair for fun, I try to floss regularly, I drink iced coffee, and I take naps. Plus some other stuff, too.
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I know I'm really, really, really late on this post, but I love it so much.
At first glance, I'm a PJ. I love to cook. I make badass oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, but only break them out for special occasions. I make a mean baked steak, too. And can improvise with most things in the kitchen if I don't have the money to run to the grocery store.
I walk/run with my puppy whenever I get the opportunity. I talk to her like she's a person. I talk about her like she's a person. My fiance (!!!!) does, too. And I miss her whenever I go out of town.
I'm a dreamer. I come up with random photography projects I want to create ALL THE TIME. I plan on pursuing these projects sometime soon. (As in, when I get to Nashville. For good!)
And so, so much more. What a fantastic question!
” can improvise with most things in the kitchen if I don't have the money to
run to the grocery store.”
You and I should really cook together sometime – I LOVE doing this and I
think I'm pretty good!
Also? Fiance?! !!! I LOVE THAT!
I know I'm really, really, really late on this post, but I love it so much.
At first glance, I'm a PJ. I love to cook. I make badass oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, but only break them out for special occasions. I make a mean baked steak, too. And can improvise with most things in the kitchen if I don't have the money to run to the grocery store.
I walk/run with my puppy whenever I get the opportunity. I talk to her like she's a person. I talk about her like she's a person. My fiance (!!!!) does, too. And I miss her whenever I go out of town.
I'm a dreamer. I come up with random photography projects I want to create ALL THE TIME. I plan on pursuing these projects sometime soon. (As in, when I get to Nashville. For good!)
And so, so much more. What a fantastic question!
” can improvise with most things in the kitchen if I don't have the money to
run to the grocery store.”
You and I should really cook together sometime – I LOVE doing this and I
think I'm pretty good!
Also? Fiance?! !!! I LOVE THAT!
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